Tuesday, July 11, 2017

{ Longing for England }


 I've wanted to do this post for a long time, and I mean longggggg time.  It's something that has been in my heart for as long as I can remember, all the way back to my childhood actually.

Longing for England!!!

That may sound like the weirdest thing you may hear me say, but there's no other way for me to put it, other than I long to be in England.  I feel an immense pull towards that country, and nothing I say, nothing I think, nothing anyone else says, can change that for me.

I've often sat and thought about why I felt this way, especially since I was not born in England, I've never been to England, other than a lay over for a couple hours in London when I moved from South Africa to the USA.  Even in those brief hours, I felt at home, I didn't want to get back on the plane, I just wanted to stay there.

It's almost a familiar feeling and a pull so strong that at times, I will see a picture of a certain village or a vlog someone has done out and about in their town and I almost want to cry.  It's the strangest thing ever.


Places like those above, especially, call out to me.  I look at it and all I can think is HOME.  My heart feels such a pull, such a homesickness towards it.  But where does this all come from?

Now I'm not one that can sit here and say that I 100% believe in past lives or reincarnation, but if not for that, then where does my longing originate?

Have you ever felt that way towards a specific country, city, place?

Strangest yet is that I've always said certain phrases that are British, have always loved certain foods that are British, have always loved British TV above all others, and let's not even mention my obsession with the Tudors and Medieval and Victorian and Edwardian and all else.


I've done research trying to understand and all I come across is past lives, reincarnation, soul homes.  The last one really called to me because it is exactly how I feel when I think of England.  Like that's where my soul belongs, where it considers home.

But realistically, it's a place I may never be able to visit because I just don't have the money to afford it.  So I long for it, see it from afar and hold it very tightly in my heart.

It feels a little loony to be honest, how can I feel sadness if I've never been there?  How can I look at a village street and feel "I'm supposed to be there, that's my place".

Everything about England calls to me.  I love the homes, I love the life, I love the country, the foods, the accent, the way they say things and do things, their tv shows.

Now I know you may be thinking that it's all due to me reading about it, or what I see on TV and so on, but really it's not.  In fact, it's the other way around.  I do those things is because of that feeling, that longing, that need to feel like I'm home.
 

In my research, I came across a word that stood out, one which might actually describe exactly what I'm feeling, because I seem to have a hard time making people understand.

Sehnsucht

There is a noun in the German language called Sehnsucht. It has no real translation into English, but it can best be translated as "longing", "pining", "yearning", or "craving", or in a wider sense a type of "intensely missing".

BINGO!!!!!

All of my feelings wrapped up into a cool sounding word.   Intensely missing, that's it, right there.  So strange.

Though England is my home, Scotland and Ireland come very close too.  But there's a difference, when I see Ireland I feel a longing to visit, but just because I think it's a beautiful country.  Scotland on the other hand, is a little more like my feel towards England though NOTHING in comparison. 



But even when I would watch Outlander and see the beautiful Scottish Highlands, my heard skipped a beat and pulled me to it.



None will ever come even close to scratching the surface of the UK for me. 

I have decided that I need to start saving money and it may take me many years, but I HAVE to visit England, I just have to, there's no way around this feeling.  Maybe the day I set foot in that country, I will understand why this calling, or for what purpose. 

Maybe it will all be explained and I'll feel finally at peace, but until then I will continue to live it within me until the day that I can actually breathe in the fresh air in the countryside or take a walk down the cobblestones of the village street.  I do believe the day that happens, I may just be a crying fool for even thinking about it now, brings me to tears.

I would love to know if any of you out there understand what I'm feeling, feel the same way towards a certain place or even maybe know why. 

Let's have a little chit chat shall we?

15 comments:

Mac n' Janet said...

I felt that way about England long before I ever visited and every time we've gone there the feeling has grown stronger. I've done some family history on Ancestry.com and part of my Dad's family is from England and my Mother's family is nearly all from Ireland. I've visited Ireland, but it England where I belong.

Anonymous said...

Yes! Not necessarily a different country, but definitely a different state. I long to be in Tennessee. That is where my heart feels at home. I am born and raised in Illinois, but it has never felt like home to me. I feel very restless here.

Sandra said...

Oh I wish I could go and visit and set my heart at ease. It's such an incredible longing that is often hard to deal with.

Sandra said...

Ohhhh Tennessee, what a beautiful State too. I wish I felt that way about a State because then I could see me visiting sooner rather than later. But my luck I had to go and feel this way about a country across the ocean lol

Unknown said...

I have ALWAYS felt this way about England!! SIGH. I did get to visit but it wasn't long enough. I pull every friend of mine to the anglophile existence and we all talk about "one day when we win the lottery and buy our houses in Enlgand" Oh my goodness I think about it every day !

Unknown said...

lol I just commented and my profile showed as "unknown" but when I clicked on it it took me to my husband's profile. *face palm* I am a technological idiot. A 40 something year old man did not just comment on your page, you would know me as "Kamalasmiles" :) hahaha

Tonilouisa said...

i adore your blog!! I read it religiously! I am from England! I thought did pop by and say hi!
It is a beautiful Country, The Lake District is where you want to visit, it's beautiful especially for Beatrix Potter! And Whitby in Yorkshire, full of interesting History, especially about Bram Stoker :) I do hope you get to visit one day!!

Attempting To Be A Super Mom said...

I 100% know what you are talking about. I feel that same pull to England. Ben is doing the same thing now. He's obsessed with England and tells us that he can't wait to be an adult and move there. I pray that someday, we can not only visit that beautiful country but also call it home. We eat British foods, watch British tv and movies, frequent the Brits store we've got here in town to the point where I get messages from them if I haven't been there in a few weeks because they are worried about us. I've always been bored by American history. I mean don't get me wrong, I like Little House on the prairie and the civil war, but so much of the history we have here is too young for me to be interested. I'm an art and architecture junkie and there just isn't as much here to excite me. I love the idea of living my normal life in England but instead of not knowing what to do in our free time going to a national trust or something.

Pamela said...

You know I long for England. It's where I consider my home, I lived there off and on all through early childhood and then for five years from ages 13 to 18. My Mum is British so England was always in our home no matter where we lived - in the words we used to describe things, the food we ate, the tea we drank. I long to live anywhere in England. I really haven't done much research but I should because I think Vic would be game for retiring there. The problem is that these beautiful villages have become second homes to the wealthy city dwellers and that has just driven property prices through the roof. It's a shame, the villages of my childhood are beyond our reach. It's my goal to build a travel fund into our retirement budget so even if we can't live there full-time, we can spend some time there every year. With AirBnB and Home Away and other rental properties/house exchanges, it might be doable. There isn't a day goes by that I don't wish I was in England.

Lara said...

Querida Sandra, não estás sozinha. Como eu te entendo!! Este post poderia ter sido escrito por mim. Se fosse antes de visitar Inglaterra, seria igualzinho. Agora, a diferença é que já lá estive e que não acredito em vidas passadas. Tenho antepassados ingleses. Poderá ser essa a explicação. Ou não. Mas é tal e qual o que sentes. Vivi lá um ano, aos 21 anos, e mesmo com o muito que chorei por saudades da família, adorei a experiência e ainda hoje falo dela como se tivesse sido ontem. Já tive o privilégio de lá voltar mais quatro vezes, uma das quais foi há duas semanas, apenas por um dia. Já assinei uma revista, English Home, só porque sim, para sonhar acordada, e ainda acho que um dia vou ter uma casinha lá. Provavelmente nunca irá acontecer mas gosto de sonhar com isso. E já passei um pouco disto à minha filha. Quem sabe um dia não vamos lá juntas? Beijinhos

The Frau said...

I was privileged to visit England in 1998 ... only because we were stationed in Germany and actually "drove" over ... yep, drove up on the ferry in Holland and disembarked on the wrong side of the road in Warwick, England!! SUCH FUN. You should look into staying at Lakenheath or some other AFB in England - that's what we did for a few days - they have AMAZING military guest rooms!! Super affordable!!
Anyway, I love that you found the world SEHNSUCHT ... the Germans have such a knack for making words that describe things perfectly. ANother great German word is FERNWEH (a "pain"/weh for "far"/fern) ... it is a longing for somewhere far away. I think you've got some of that too!! ;)

The Frau said...

I grew up in East Tennessee ... and it is definitely God's country. ;) LOL We were military, and though I was born in Germany (and it is my birth home - and I love it!!!), Tennessee is where my family (parents, etc) live now - and I always call it "home" even though we've lived in a bunch of other states and currently live in NW Arkansas. Just wanted to say Tennessee is DEFINITELY a wonderful place!!!!! :)

~Carla~ said...

Yes!! SOO much so which is *exactly* why we are taking a huge leap of faith and moving to Cape Breton Island in Nova Scotia! I've always been absolutely obsessed with the east coast and we've decided to give it an honest go of it! It's going to be quite the adventure, but we're hoping it all works out! We both work hard and we're all so excited about what lies ahead of us!

Jennifer Williams said...

Wow! I have had this feeling most of my life, but I haven't told many people about it because of the risk of sounding "crazy." My whole family teases me (good-naturedly) about it. But it is really comforting to hear that someone else (besides me) longs to be in England. :-)

Unknown said...

Oh my wow! Yes! I'm so glad I came across your blog ! It sang to my soul! I miss England and I've never been.